Along Wooded Paths Page 18

  “Walk away, Ben. Only then will you really know.” Annie reached over and patted his hand. “If she comes to you, if she follows, then—son—you know it’s meant to be.”

  As she neared the house after work the next day, Marianna couldn’t help but notice the front curtain flutter.

  She entered the house and inhaled. The moist air smelled of laundry. A line hung from the second post on the stairway, leading up to the bedrooms. The other end was connected to a hook her father had placed in the wall by the dining room. Unlike their house back in Indiana, this house had no basement for laundry to dry and on blanket and sheet wash day there was not even room upstairs.

  Without even looking, Marianna knew hers and Mem’s dresses were drip-drying over the bathtub. She pushed a cool, damp sheet aside and stepped through, as if stepping through a theater curtain.

  “Marianna, hurry. Dat might come. This is surely a gut surprise!” Charlie’s voice rang out. A sea of faces greeted her—Mem, her siblings, and Mr. and Mrs. Carash from down the road with their three kids. Aaron had moved from his place on the couch to one of the dining room chairs that had been pulled into the living room. The bench that Dat and Mem kept at the end of their bed had been brought downstairs and topped with a pillow, and that’s where Aaron’s leg rested, his pink toes poking out from the end of the cast. Meeting her gaze, he smiled. She offered a quick glance, then her eyes moved to the stairway where Ben walked down with Ellie cradled in his arm. What is he doing here?

  Her Uncle Ike descended behind him, and a smile filled her uncle’s face.

  “Mari!” Ellie waved a piece of paper in her hand.

  Marianna’s heart leapt in her chest, and she didn’t know what surprised her more—that Ben was here or that Aaron’s gaze upon her was amused—as if he considered her wide-eyed reaction as funny.

  “Ellie colored a picture for your dat’s birthday,” Ben explained. “Or at least that’s what I guessed she said when she dragged me upstairs with her. I had to get Ike to help translate. I’m still not great at deciphering Pennsylvania Dutch. But it is a good gift for the party.”

  “Dat’s birthday. Of course.” How could she have forgotten? She’d talked to Dat this morning and hadn’t said anything about his birthday before heading off to work. Had Mem mentioned something about this party? She thought so, but she couldn’t remember. Her mind had been on other things.

  Besides, even if she’d remembered there was a birthday celebration today, she would not have thought of this. Their usual celebrations involved a nice dinner followed by cake and one simple present at most. This . . . surprise party, with sheets hanging across the room and Englisch friends . . . This was not typical. In fact, she’d never heard of it being done. She’d have to ask Mem about it later. Why had she chosen such a way?

  “Wow, look at that.” Marianna unbuttoned her coat and moved to the stairs. “Darf ich es mal sehen?”

  Ellie lifted the page for her to look at. In the hand that rested on Ben’s shoulder, Marianna also noticed Ellie still had the stub of a red crayon in her grasp.

  “Let’s get that and put it away before you accidentally write on the wall again.” Marianna chuckled and took the crayon from Ellie.

  “Good idea.” Ben winked. “I missed that, but I bet I would’ve been called back to help clean up the scribble.”

  Marianna placed a balled fist on her hip. “You better believe it, mister,” she said, mimicking Annie. Then, remembering she had an audience, Marianna stepped back. “It’s good to see you.” She touched his arm. “It seems like every time I see you as of late you have a little girl in your arms.”

  “Maybe I’m practicing.” Ben smiled. “Making sure I know what to do when I’m blessed with my own family some day.”

  With the noise of many voices, Marianna hoped no one had heard what Ben said. She also hoped no one in the room noted the red she could feel rising to her cheeks. Especially Aaron.

  “Speaking of being blessed, have you met Aaron? He’s a friend from home.” Marianna turned back to Aaron and sent a quick smile.

  In spite of the smile, Ben seemed stiff, uneasy. “Yes, your mem introduced us.”

  “Ja, of course.” Before she could worry about that any more, David’s voice called above the noise.

  “He’s here. Quiet. Everyone behind the sheets.”

  The room turned silent. Even Ellie held a finger over her lips. Her eyes were wide. Her small button nose wrinkled.

  They listened to the sound of Dat’s booted feet coming up the front porch steps. Then his stomping as he knocked snow off his boots. Finally the door opened.

  “Anyone home? It’s awful quiet.” He pushed the sheet to the side, stopped in his tracks, and threw his head back, laughter bursting from his chest.

  “Surprise!” A chorus rang out. Voices began again, raised in excited chatter, and Ellie pushed against Ben’s chest, wanting down. He set her on the ground and she ran over to Dat, arms wide. With a smile, Dat swept her up, accepting the birthday wishes and kisses.

  “I’m surprised you’re here.” Marianna didn’t know what else to say to Ben.

  “Yes, well, I was driving home from work tonight when I saw your uncle walking down the road. Seems his horse twisted his leg on a slippery ice patch yesterday and he didn’t want to take a chance with the sled.” Ben laughed. “Personally, I believe Ike just wanted a ride. When we got here, we needed someplace to park my truck so your dat wouldn’t know. We parked it down at the Carashes’ house and Ike invited them too. I’m not sure it’s what your mem had in mind.”

  Marianna brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and though she wasn’t about to look, she was sure Aaron’s eyes were on her. She also noticed out the window that more people were arriving—Amish friends she guessed Mem had invited. The Shelters, the Peachy family, and a few others from their church.

  Marianna looked to Mem. There was a pinched look around her eyes. What would her Amish friends think of the Englischers here?

  “So, Marianna.” Ben touched her arm and she stiffened. Heat rose on her neck—probably because of Aaron’s steady gaze fixed on that spot. “Hmm?”

  “I was looking on the Internet and I saw Annie’s new Web site. There was a wonderful picture . . . of you, of us.”

  “Yes, I know. I gave her permission to use it.” She swallowed down a lump that formed in her throat. Oh, why had she ever said yes?

  “I love it. I asked Annie for a copy and she said she gave you one too.”

  The door opened and the other Amish families began filtering in.

  “She did.” Marianna looked to his eyes. “I have it around here somewhere, I’m not sure where I put it.” From the hurt on Ben’s face, he believed her.

  “Oh, yes, I know that Amish don’t believe in photos of themselves. I should be glad you didn’t burn it.” He forced a smile, but Marianna wasn’t fooled. Her heart ached to see she hurt him, but as the other families entered and scanned the room she noticed disapproval on their faces then they saw her standing near Ben.

  “I like it. I . . .” Ben let out a sigh. “It’s good to know I’ll always have it, in case you do return home.”

  Marianna didn’t answer, instead she took a step back. “I should go. I need to introduce our company to Aaron.”

  “Yes, of course.” Ben nodded. “Sorry for keeping you so long.”

  Marianna hurried to Sarah, trying to focus on making introductions. She could tell by the look on Sarah’s face she thought Aaron to be handsome. And he was. If she ever told Aaron that things were not to work out between them, there’d be a long line of Amish women that would set their sights on such a man.

  Marianna didn’t like that thought at all.

  More guests arrived and the mood in the room changed. Ben had been around the Sommer family often. They laughed and joked in his presence—or at least they had before he started letting his feelings for Marianna show. After they talked about the photograph, Marianna retreated, moved closer to
Aaron. She sat in the chair next to him, and Ben’s stomach sank and pooled on the floor between his feet.

  Neither Aaron or Marianna spoke to each other—she was busy talking with the other guests—but it was clear they felt comfortable in each other’s presence. The casualness of their years as friends tied them together, like an invisible clothesline wrapping around their bodies, tethering them.

  She sat only inches away from Aaron, yet her body seemed relaxed. Even as Aaron scanned the room, smiling at the introductions, his focus was on her. Every few minutes he gazed at her from the corner of his eyes. It wasn’t a possessive look, but an eager one—as if Aaron watched to see if she had a need he could help with. Ben’s stomach ached when he saw that.

  Someone offered him a piece of cake, but he couldn’t think of taking a bite. His throat was tight, his stomach clenched. Aaron had what he wanted—a closeness with Marianna, a history, a common lifestyle.

  Hope for a future.

  And that’s what bothered him—no, was driving him crazy. Though Marianna seemed interested in him, she fit when it came to Aaron. Their care for each other went beyond attraction. It came from years of spending time together, of sharing common dreams and memories. Aaron knew what Marianna had been like as a girl. He no doubt remembered some of her brightest—and even most embarrassing—moments. Aaron knew her. The real her.

  Another emotion that Ben hadn’t faced in a while bubbled up inside him, mixing with the jealousy: embarrassment. The emotion trickled down from his head to his heart. What a fool.

  Marianna was interested in him because he was different. She might even think him handsome, but now . . . now he saw it. She’d never seriously consider a relationship with him. Not when there was someone like Aaron around. Someone good and handsome. Someone she wouldn’t have to sacrifice her community, her lifestyle, and her right standing before God for.

  Let her go.

  It made sense, but could he do it? Could he say good-bye? And if he did . . . would she follow?

  Ben swallowed hard. Lord, You know what this could mean. Life without Marianna.

  But maybe that’s what God wanted. Roy had been asking Ben to commit to his music. Traveling back and forth to West Kootenai wasn’t working. Being here, seeing this—her reaction—Ben knew the right thing to do.

  As much as it broke his heart, he needed to allow Marianna to live the life already laid out for her.

  It was time to say good-bye.

  Aaron could hear upstairs that the children were still stirring after an exciting time at the birthday party, and that wasn’t a happy sound. He wished he could go away. Be alone. He’d give anything to just be in his cabin in Indiana. To see the work of his hands. To remind himself he’d been strong once—not weak like now. To feel as if he hadn’t been betrayed.

  A lantern flickered on the nightstand, and Aaron glanced down at the image he’d sketched of the shadowed mountains outside the window bathed in moonlight. The sketch was emotionless. Meaningless, random lines connecting together couldn’t portray all he felt inside. He started scribbling on the pad, digging his pencil deeper into the paper until finally the lead broke. As a deep darkness absorbed the landscape outside the window, anger bubbled up inside him.

  How could Ike invite Ben to the party? And how dare Ben behave as he had? As the party wound down, Marianna walked to the door, saying good-bye to many. Some of the Englischers hugged each other, but the Amish kept their distance. The only affection their community ever shared was the offering of the holy kiss at church services.

  Yet as Ben prepared to leave, he wrapped his arms around Marianna. Aaron had waited for her to stiffen, to back away. Instead, she stepped into his embrace as if she’d been waiting for it all night. And then, instead of a quick hug like all the others, Ben held on, nearly burying his face in her neck. He held Marianna as if he owned her. He held her as if he didn’t want to let go. And Marianna hadn’t moved.

  It was only as Ben pulled away that she released her grasp.

  Aaron lifted the pencil and snapped it in two. If it wasn’t for this cast, he would have shown that Englischer Ben Stone what he thought about that.

  Of course, the cast wasn’t going to stay on forever.

  Dear June-Sevenies,

  I’ve never experienced a fall like a Montana one. Looking around, I tried to consider what object I’d include in the package yet. Would it be the snow that glittered like diamonds. Nein, that would melt before the postman was able to pick it up. Would it be the large moon that hung in the sky—golden and round—unlike any I’d seen in Indiana? I could do that but folks around here would complain. I finally decided on some yellow needles. No, not sewing needles, but rather those of the larch tree. They are trees that disguise themselves as evergreens all year until fall. It’s then they turn golden and then needles drop. I picked them up off the forest floor, so who knows what creatures walked over them. A bear? A wolf? It’s possible for both.

  Dat’s birthday was yesterday and we invited many friends. There is good Amish folk here and we enjoy them much. I still miss some of the old faces yet.

  Aaron is still recovering from his accident and getting around better than before. He’s been drawing sketches and we hope to sell them in the general store. Some folks have mentioned their interest.

  I enjoy work and have new friends too. Ain’t much else to share. Think warm thoughts of me cause I’ll need them during this coming winter. May each of you enjoy a lovely Thanksgiving dinner with family. Know this year one of the things I’m thankful for is you.

  Love,

  Marianna

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Moonlight filtered through the windows. Marianna crept down the stairs as quietly as she could, stepping over the third step from the bottom—the one that tended to squeak. She’d lain in bed for the last hour trying to decide if she was brave enough to sneak down to get Dat’s Bible and read it by the light of the moon. There were too many thoughts, longings, desires stirring within her. She couldn’t get her mind off of Ben’s arms around her. She couldn’t release the words he’d whispered in her ear.

  She’d tried writing a circle letter, hoping that would get her mind off things. It hadn’t. She’d kept more inside than she’d been able to share. She wanted to share about Annie, Jenny, Kenzie, and even mention Ben’s music, but none back east would understand her relationships with her Englisch friends. As she finished the letter, Marianna knew deep down what she needed. She needed to center her mind on God alone.

  She needed peace.

  Even as she tiptoed down the steps, bright light from the full moon reflected off the blanket of snow outside, bathing the house in a yellow glow. She reached the bottom step, then hurried toward the dining room. The squeak of a chair behind her paused her stride. Marianna’s heart leapt into her throat. She turned, expecting to see her father sitting by the woodstove and reading as he’d done of late. Instead, she saw Aaron.

  As she turned, he glanced up at her and then looked away. He was dressed in the same clothes he’d been wearing at the party. His shoulders were slumped. His arms rested on his thighs and his head dropped in defeat. In pain.

  “Aaron, are you okay?” She hurried over to him, kneeling beside his casted leg. “Do you have pain pills? Need water? Is there anything I can bring you?”

  “It’s not my leg, Marianna.” His words were drawn out, as if they carried pain too. “I mean, it hurts, but that’s not the problem.”

  He looked at her again, this time his gaze searched hers, held it. Mostly his eyes spoke of heartbreak. Without him saying a word she knew the problem.

  “I am so stupid. Jest a fool.”

  Marianna’s brow scrunched up. “Aaron, no. Don’t say that.”

  “You said you came back because you wanted to be with your family a little longer.” A sharp laugh escaped his lips. “But it’s not your family you wanted to stay for.”

  Marianna moved her hand to his. He pulled back, brushing her away. He sat in s
ilence, clearly expecting an answer. Marianna didn’t want to give Aaron the true answer but knew she had to.

  “You’re right,” she finally whispered. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t my family . . .” She bit her lip, urging herself to continue. “I was concerned about my family, ja. Mem with a new baby. Charlie with the accident. But why I stayed was . . . God.”

  His head darted up and he lifted a hand, brushing his blond bangs back from his forehead. “I’m not joking, Mari. How could you—”

  “I’m not either,” she said in a loud whisper. “I see things different since I’ve been here. It’s something I’ve wanted to talk to you about. I see God different. I just felt He didn’t want me to go back. Not yet.”

  Aaron wiped his eyes with his palm. “I can’t believe this. You care for this Englischman, and then you lie to me and tell me that God wanted you to stay. Does God talk to you, Marianna? That sounds strange to me. Who are you? He doesn’t talk to our own bishops in that way, but He will talk to you?”

  “It’s too much to explain and now’s not the right time. With your leg hurting and . . . we’re both tired.” Marianna looked toward the cabinet in the dining room where the Bible was kept.

  She was just making excuses. She’d read a passage just last week about speaking truth in love. But was Aaron ready for it? A stirring inside told her that if she cared for Aaron in the slightest bit, she needed to talk to him.

  “Actually”—she placed a hand on his cast—“that is just an excuse. It’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for a while. I’ve been reading the Bible more, Aaron. The Word of God is so beautiful. There’s so much hope and promise inside.”

  She didn’t mention that it was an English Bible she’d been reading. It didn’t really matter. Not to her. “The more I’ve read, the more I’ve discovered that it’s not the outward stuff that God appreciates—our dress, our good deeds, our traditions—it’s what’s deep in the heart. Jesus wants a relationship with each of us. It’s not just about going to church and living as our ancestors taught; it’s about trusting Him, turning to Him in prayer every day. It’s deciding to live for Jesus because of who He is, and not because of the traditions of my parents.”